Bob Patterson

Bob is depressed that Janet left him, but she returns only to announce she's ""on a quest to find herself."" Meanwhile, Landau hires Claudia as Bob's assistant, making things more difficult in the office. Bob fires John Tesh from his infomercial because he has trouble with his height.

Poll results say women 18-79 don't like Bob, so he decides to get rid of John Tesh and bring a new co-host for his infomercial. Since they can't fire John, Landau and Bob trick him into quitting and get Bo Derek. Bob's son tells her he's a hermaphrodite and Connie Selecca drops by at the office to demand that John is hired back. Bo quits and Bob hires Connie as the new co-host.

Bob is invited to pose nude for a nude celebrity coffee table book. At first the idea of posing naked doesn't sound so good to him, but he decides to do it after Janet and Jeffrey say he has issues with his body. The problem arises when he finds out the photographer is french. Bob can't hear a woman speak french without getting 'excited', so he takes some tea Janet indicated to keep him down. When the photographer makes a move on him, he doesn't get excited because he's under the tea effects, so she thinks he's gay. To make things even better, she calls a bunch of built up men to pose with him, just as the tea loses its effect.

Bob is facing Warren Wellman, America's number 2 motivational speaker, for the Motie award. Afraid of losing one more time to one of his biggest rivals, Bob decides to get the judges votes. He takes the Kimballs to a baseball game and accidentally pushes little Kenny Kimball off the stadium's platform. Now Bob has to sleep with the other judge, an old sex-addicted lady. When the award is finally given, Bob has a tough time believing he lost again and makes a huge scandal.

The new office bathroom is finally ready and Bob couldn't be happier to have his private bathroom back. The only thing is that Landau keeps using the bathroom. Bob decides to stand up to Landau and tells him he can no longer use his bathroom. Offended, Landau quits, and they both try to remember who saved who 12 years ago when Bob was selling big screen TVs and they first met. Each one tells the story differently, but in the end they both remember that is was a 50-50 thing. Landau decides to return to the firm.

Landau gets Jules Asner from E! to do a show about Bob's family. The only thing is that his family isn't exactly the ideal family. So to prevent the interview to ruin Bob's career, Bob forbids Janet to say anything about him and has to pay over 6,000 dollars for Jeffrey to be on the show. When Jules finds out the truth, Landau has to pay her to keep it quiet.

When Jeffrey's therapist, Dr. Tepnick, takes Bob's word over his son's, Jeffrey feels slighted and gets revenge by kidnapping the doctor's very expensive, life-sized, mannequin-like talking clown, Mr. Jingles, and holds it for ransom. But when Bob and Janet accidentally stumble across the foreboding clown, they think it's alive and end up destroying it, leaving the task of ""dumping the body"" up to a frazzled Bob and Jeffrey — with a little help from Landau. (ABC)